The Nina Simone Suite
by Celievamp
Summary: Warrick told Mia Dickerson that if she wanted to know true heartache she should listen to Nina Simone. But what should she do and who should she turn to to find love. Note: deals with a FF relationship. Later chapters will contain 'adult' content.
1. Little Visions of You

LITTLE VISIONS OF YOU

It was all Warrick's fault. He told me to listen to Nina Simone if I wanted to know true heartache.

So I hit the downloads, got me some music, listened to that voice and realised that it spoke to my heart.

There was this one song

'_What a fool to dream of you,_

_Twasn't part of my scheme to sigh and tell you that I love you,_

_But now I'm saying it, I'm playing it dumb,_

_Can't get out of this mood,_

_Heartbreak here I come_.'

And I just stopped what I was doing and went to find her. I had to know. Heartbreak here I come… well, hopefully not. But if I didn't say something to her then I would never know one way or the other.

Watching Sara Sidle work, I wondered what it would be like to have that level of concentration, that oh-so-delicate yet informed touch working on my body. I shivered in anticipation.

I knew she was interested. There were enough rumours going around about how she spent her off-time – some swore that she had been making hot monkey love with Grissom for years; I'd also heard that she and the ice maiden Catherine Willows had a thing. I hadn't seen signs of either being more than wishful thinking. Greg fancied her. That was obvious (as was the fact she thought of him as an annoying little brother). The other guys treat her like a favoured kid sister. And me? From my very first day with the unit I always knew when those dark eyes were watching me. I wondered if she liked what she saw.

She didn't give me much to work with. The odd look, the occasional word, the more usual silence. Added together it was, well, less than nothing if such a thing were possible. But I had to know.

'All day long before my eyes come little visions of you,

They shouldn't, they mustn't, but they do.

Can't get out of this mood,

Can't get over this feeling,

Can't get out of this mood,'

We talked. Okay, I talked and sometimes she talked back. She had one of the faces, sometimes she looked so plain then you would catch her in a certain angle or in a particular light – or she would smile – and she had a beauty all her own. And there was a lot more going on with her than the stereotyped workaholic that she liked to present herself as being. And I wanted to know more – everything about her. Everything.

But at the same time I did not want to scare her off. Not that I think Sara Sidle would scare easily. But I knew I could be a little… full on… sometimes. And she deserved a little time and care.

So I was going to take my time, take things slow. Invite you out for a coffee, maybe breakfast. I know you used to do that with Catherine Willows sometimes, go out for breakfast at the end of your shift. So maybe that would be a good start.

You've noticed I'm here. You're staring at me, a quizzical expression on your face.

"Hey Sara," I smile, try to hide the butterflies suddenly playing kamikaze in my stomach.

"Hey Mia," you smile back. I melt a little more.

"I was wondering… do you want to get some breakfast at the end of the shift. There's a new place opened up on the other side of the mall. I wondered if you'd like to give it a try."

The smile fades slowly and you're assessing me again. And I know how that evidence feels. Everything laid bare. I can see my whole scenario playing out in your head. And then you're smiling again and I can breathe.

"I'd like that, Mia," you said. "That would be great."

Heartbreak here I come. Or not.

Lyrics: Can't Get Out of This Mood - Nina Simone

Jimmy MacHugh, Loesser

All day long before my eyes come little visions of you,

They shouldn't, they mustn't, but they do.

Can't get out of this mood,

Can't get over this feeling,

Can't get out of this mood,

Last night your lips were appealing,

The thrill should have been all gone by today, in the usual way,

But it's only your arms that I'm out of.

Can't get out of this dream

What a fool to dream of you,

Twasn't part of my scheme to sigh and tell you that I love you,

But now I'm saying it, I'm playing it dumb,

Can't get out of this mood,

Heartbreak here I come.

I can't get over this feeling,

Last night your lips were appealing,

The thrill should have been all gone by today, in the usual way,

But it's only your arms that I'm out of.

What a fool to dream of you,

To sigh and tell you that I love you,

But now I'm playing it, now I'm playing it dumb,

I can't get out of this mood,

Heartbreak, heartbreak here I come.


	2. Miaanderings

MIA-ANDERINGS

She liked to be noticed. I got that. What took me some time to figure was that she liked to be noticed by me.

Me. The woman who wasted two years of her life hating Catherine Willows with a passion and the next two years being secretly in love with her. And then just a few months after the wake-up call of my DUI charge and the realization that Catherine Willows would never feel about me the way I felt about her, Mia Dickerson comes waltzing into my life.

She would come ask me things. Not Catherine, not Greg, not Warrick, not Nick, not even Grissom. Me. I had never thought of myself as being particularly approachable before. In fact I'm pretty certain I'm not. I don't mean to scowl at people, really. It's just the way my face goes when I'm thinking about stuff. I've lost count of the number of times people have said to me in passing: "Cheer up, it might never happen." God, that pisses me off. I mean, what the hell do they know!

Most of the time when Mia talks to me it's to do with the case. At least peripherally. But sometimes it's as if she was asking me my opinion on something, as if she's sounding me out, trying to subtly find out what made Sara Sidle tick.

She could be in for a disappointment there. This job is by far the most interesting thing about me and she already knows all there is to know about that. Otherwise she wouldn't be here.

Her curiosity about the first vic, Wendy Garner, about the etiquette of dealing with the transgendered. This is Las Vegas, there are way more than two genders here, every creed and colour and sexuality under the sun. Makes my own preferences almost vanilla. And I'm guessing her own.

I don't know whether she is and she's just playing coy, being safe, sounding out the territory, or she's just curious. I've come a long way in that regard myself. I remember the first time I went to Lady Heather's. I can't believe how uptight I was. Catherine just took it all in her stride. But then not much fazes her.

Then there was that joke/story Mia shared with me. I just didn't know what to say to her about that. It wasn't in bad taste, not exactly, just… out there somewhere. I couldn't quite put my finger on what she was trying to convey to me. I took it as a bad sign that the only other person who can make me that tongue-tied is Catherine.

I really really don't need this complication in my life right now.

When I went to my mandatory counseling for my DUI charge I decided that I did not have a problem with alcohol. I had a problem with me. I swore that I would change. And since then I have done precisely – nothing. I still work too much. I still spend my free time doing work related stuff. I still haven't sorted out my feelings for Catherine, never mind Grissom. I have to ask myself – do I really need another work based relationship – real or imagined – right now.


	3. Let it be Me

LET IT BE ME

"I can't believe Ecklie did that, split us up for… for what!"

"I've met his type before other places… he plays politics, it's how he gets his kicks. I know you've worked together a long time. But the way I see it there were going to be changes anyway - Catherine Willows was already angling for a promotion… she just didn't get the one she wanted," I said. "Things would have been different whatever strings Ecklie decided to pull. Look, I'm just the newbie here. Sometimes change can be a good thing, Sara. I know it has been for me."

She smiled at that. "I suppose. I don't know how it's going to be working with Sofia though. She's got to be hurting the way Ecklie burned her." She stared at her plate, playing with the leftovers of her breakfast.

"But she proved herself her own woman not playing Ecklie's game," I said. No one knew for certain what had been said in that meeting between Ecklie, Grissom and Sofia Curtis. But the changes in staffing that Ecklie had announced afterwards took everyone's breath away. And Sofia Curtis, formerly blue eyed girl of dayshift had been effectively demoted to work alongside Sara and Greg on night shift. Not quite CSI's most unwanted, but getting that reputation. Catherine, Nick and Warrick had been moved to the swing shift.

"That Ecklie," Sara shuddered. "He wanted me to say that Grissom was a bad supervisor that he did not care about his staff. Just because he hadn't put something on my personnel file. I mean it was nothing, I didn't tell him formally, just in passing… but Ecklie… Grissom… he's the best… Ecklie is… I mean if this is what its going to be like working for him, I might…"

"You're not thinking of moving on, are you?" I asked, trying not to show that I had anything at all invested in her answer. I mean this was only our third breakfast date… and I would hesitate to call it a date. We talked shop mostly. She knew the techniques of my job almost as well as I did. And she was up on all the latest techniques. Every time we had a conversation I realised again just how bright she was – and hell, I'm no slouch in the brains department.

Sara shrugged. "I really wanted to get my next grade and another year or so of experience under my belt before I looked elsewhere but this thing with Ecklie has really soured it for me."

"At least you're still working with Grissom," I offered.

"I suppose. To be honest, there's nothing else to really hold me here. I mean I'm not…" she glanced across at me. "What is the word on my love life these days?"

I smothered a grin. "Nothing to write home about. I've heard rumours that you and Grissom have a thing." She pulled a face, sighed.

"Not any more. Not that it was really anything… nothing happened between us. We've never dated… we've never even kissed. On my part it was almost… hero worship I suppose. I think he was flattered… scared to death of me, but flattered…"

"Well the current gossip has him paired with Sofia now anyway. Number one reason why Ecklie is so pissed at him. Sofia turned him down for Grissom."

She considered it for a moment. "Nah… I won't say he wouldn't be interested in her but if she was obvious enough for him to notice then he'd back off."

"Then there's the gossip about you and Catherine Willows," I said, greatly daring.

""It took us three years to get to the point where we were civil to one another so I can't see that happening anytime soon," Sara said. Then she realised what she said and started to backpedal "Not that I 've ever… I mean Catherine's not… never."

This was it. I laid a gentle hand on her arm. "It's okay, Sara. I'm a friend… family you might say. I can see how you feel about Catherine."

Sara closed her eyes tightly. "Nothing's ever… will ever happen. She's not… not that I don't think she wouldn't be open to it."

I nodded. "From what I've seen of her, I think she'd be open to experiment but not if you're looking for a relationship… " I paused. "Are you looking for a relationship, Sara?"

"What I said earlier about there being nothing really to hold me here," she looked at me directly and I was taken again by how dark and deep her eyes were. "I'm willing to see that change."

My hand was still on her arm, my fingers moving very softly over the bare skin of her forearm. "What are you doing for the rest of the day?"

"Didn't have any plans," she whispered, gazing at me. "How about you?"

"Nothing that can't be put off for another day," I smiled. "Sara, can I kiss you?"

I made her blush, the great unflappable Sara Sidle. And that smile, that cute gap-toothed grin. "Yes, I'd like that."

She tasted of coffee, blueberries and maple syrup. Her eyes had fluttered closed whilst we kissed long and slow, exploring each other's taste. I drew back a little, watched her face as her eyes opened again and she gazed at me with those wonderfully dark enigmatic eyes. She reached out, stroking her fingers gently down my cheek. I turned my face into her touch, let my lips graze her palm. "Shall we?" she asked.

I nodded, smiled. Sara fished in her jacket pocket, threw a few notes on the table to cover the bill and we left the booth. By the time we got to the door her hand had gravitated into mine.

Nothing ever felt so right before.

END

Let It Be Me – Nina Simone (from the CD: It is finished)

(Music & Lyrics by Gilbert Becaud, M. Curtis, Pierre Delanoe )

I bless the day I found you,

I want to stay around you

and so I beg you, let it be me.

Don't take this heaven from one,

if you must cling to someone

now and forever, let it be me.

Each time we meet, love,

I find complete love.

Without your sweet love

what would life be?

So never leave me lonely,

tell me you'll love me only

and that you'll always let it be me.

If for each bit of gladness

someone must taste of sadness

I'll bear the sorrow, let it be me.

No matter what the price is

I'll make no sacrifices.

Through each tomorrow let it be me.

To you I'm praying,

hear what I'm saying.

Please, let your heart beat

for me, just me.

And never leave me lonely,

tell me you'll love me only

and that you'll always let it be me,

let it be me.


	4. The Human Touch

THE HUMAN TOUCH

I watched Catherine Willows stand in the corridor, watching her colleagues interact with one another. I guess she was finding it difficult to figure a new place for herself since her promotion. She wasn't one of us anymore. And Grissom had moved right on without her as his right hand or so it seemed. He had certainly got very tight with Sofia this last couple of months.

Then I watched her watch Sara. She was working something up on her computer, her expression intense, even for her. There was something closed off about her that sent warning bells through me. And the expression on Catherine's face. They all knew that Sara and I were an item now. We had not hidden the fact that we were together. And Catherine's expression was one of regret, the infinite complexities of 'what if'. Too late, girl, I told her silently. You blew it. You missed your chance. She sighed, looked at the floor for a moment then turned to go back into her new office, closing the door behind her.

Now it was my turn to watch Sara. I was in a bit of a quandary. Yes, we were in a relationship, yes things were going really well between us, but the expression on her face spoke to me of deeply personal and troubling things. You did not have to be psychic to know that Sara had demons. You just had to see the way she tackled the job sometimes to know that. I mean we all despised perps who hurt kids but with Sara those cases turned personal, became missions, almost a crusade. And this last case had been a doozy – a five year old starved to death and two kids near death when Sara found them. Everyone involved in that one was looking more than a little frazzled.

So I had to decide what to do. Leave her to work through whatever was troubling her on her own or let her know that I was there to talk or listen or whatever she needed. She did not have to work through this on her own if she did not want to. And if she told me to go away then at least I had made the gesture. In the end it wasn't such a hard decision. I wanted to have a relationship with this fascinating woman and if that meant shouldering some of her demons then so be it. I rapped gently on her door and then walked in.

"Hey," I smiled. "Well, my shift's over so yours must be. One hell of a day, huh."

She nodded. "One hell of a day." Whatever she had been looking at was still on the screen. She made no move to turn it off.

"Hopefully those two kids will be safe now. But you've gotta wonder how its going to affect them. Not something you easily forget I reckon."

"No, it isn't," Sara said quietly.

Hell. That sounded far too personal. Earlier I had noticed her talking to one of the kids from the foster home. Had she been in the system at some point. Was that why this type of case got to her so badly. Had she been abused as a kid? There was no way I could ever ask her straight out. But she was gazing at me, that uncompromising assessing look in her eyes and I realised that she had been able to follow my thought processes as easily as if I had been using Sofia's 'talking herself through it' system.

"Not here," she said.

"What?"

"Not here. I can't tell you about it here. Take me home, Mia. Please."

I cradled my lover to me and thought about the story she had told me in fits and starts throughout the evening. I had noted the faint scars on her back before but had never asked her directly about them. Now I knew. Now I knew what drove her, what gave her that legendary focus. And my heart ached for her.

She hadn't cried. Not once. She detailed the waking nightmare that her life had been up to the age of fourteen and the slightly less awful existence in the so-called care system before she escaped to college.

I wanted to hold onto her and never let her go, protect her from the world and all its hurts, but I knew she did not want or need that from me. I stroked my hand down her long slender back, loving the way, as I had from the first, that our skin colours contrasted. Chocolate and cream. In the dim light she looked almost luminous. At first I wasn't sure if she liked me touching her like this when we were just together. At work, there was something just so self-contained about her, not precisely stand-offish but… not welcoming of physical contact. But when we were alone together like this, she seemed to crave my touch lying full length against me, skin to skin, her face buried in my shoulder.

"Only Grissom knows some of what I told you tonight," she said softly. "I think Catherine suspects that I had a less than perfect childhood. We had a case a year or two back. Two girls who had been abused by their father. The older girl arranged for his murder – and that of her mother and brothers. We thought she was protecting her little sister. Turns out she was protecting her daughter. The little girl kind of bonded with me. I was the only one she would talk to. I tried to back off but I couldn't. Even though it hurt me to look at her, I couldn't just abandon her, you know. I still keep in touch."

She raised herself up to look down on me. "I didn't want there to be any secrets between us, Mia. Every day I see the price of keeping secrets, the destruction and the lies. I don't want that to happen to us. I… I like you a lot, Mia. One day I might even be able to tell you that I love you. You've come to mean a lot to me these last few months."

"And you mean a lot to me as well, Sara," I said. "More than anyone has for a very long time. And I'm honoured that you trusted me enough to tell me those things about yourself, your past. I won't forget that trust." Or betray it, I told myself. She might not be able to say it yet, but I could. And I could wait for her to say it. "And if there's ever anything…"

She smiled at me, that slow, sweet gap-toothed smile that set my heart racing every time I saw it. "Well, you could start by kissing me."

Human Touch, The (Nina Simone: And Piano)

Lyrics by C. Reuben

No one seems to care as much

No time to smile, laugh or cry as much

Have we lost the touch that means so much

Have we lost the human touch

No one wants to be alone

To walk or talk and sleep and weep alone

Have we lost the touch that does so much

Have we lost the human touch

Touch me now and let me know

Hold me tight so I can go

Through this misery unafraid

And really knowin' what lift is all about

No one wants to live alone

Who wants to smile, laugh or cry alone

Have we lost the touch that means so much

Have we lost the human touch

Yes, yes, yes

END


	5. Little Girl Blue

LITTLE GIRL BLUE

Mia's been playing this CD all week and I can't get it out of my brain. Remind me to hit Warrick upside the head for getting her into that stuff. But its getting to me too. This one song's stayed with me all day.

"_Sit there and count your fingers_

_What can you do_

_Old girl you're through_

_Sit there, count your little fingers_

_Unhappy little girl blue_."

That was me. Little girl blue. And I shouldn't be. Regrets. Unfinished business. A lot of what ifs and might-have-beens. It was time to focus on what I had.

So, Grissom and I finally had that talk. Its been bothering me for weeks the things I said to Ecklie and I know I was probably blowing the importance of it all out of all proportion and that Ecklie did what he did because he's a snake and he would have done it anyway regardless but, okay, I felt guilty.

So I wanted to apologise to him. Grissom, I mean. It went as well as any conversation not absolutely case related ever goes with Grissom.

"We really haven't had a chance to talk since the staff changes. I… I wanted to let you know that I said some things to Ecklie that might have done the team a disservice."

Grissom polished his spectacles for a moment, something he does to give him time to think what to say. "Ecklie wanted to break up the team and he did."

"He asked me if you and I had had our post-P-E-A-P counseling session," I admitted.

"And we didn't. Regardless, you should never have to cover for your boss. I'm sorry," he said gently.

"You've always been a little more than a boss to me," I blurted out and then stood slightly stricken as I realised how that might sound. I flashed an embarrassed smile and tried to explain what I meant. "Why do you think I moved to Vegas? Look, I know our relationship has been complicated. It's probably my fault. It's probably definitely my fault." Somebody shoot me now. Little girl blue indeed. I was fucking this up again.

"You, uh, completed your counseling, right?"

I nodded emphatically "Yeah. Yes."

"And…"

"Let's just say that… sometimes I look for validation in inappropriate places," I said softly. There wasn't much either of us could say after that statement.

"Look… lets um…" Grissom started hesitantly and then stopped. Neither of us looked at each other.

"It's okay. Okay. You know what, we did our session," I smiled ruefully. The perils of working with someone who was even less of a people-person than I was. "Don't forget to document this for Ecklie."

"Right," he said, looking slightly bemused, as if he hadn't quite caught up with the fact I had just let him off the hook.

"Thanks," I said. And I meant it. I stood up to go. I almost made it to the door when he spoke again.

"You do seem a lot… happier lately, Sara. I like Mia. You and she are obviously good for each other."

"Yes, I think we are," I said. "You're okay with this?"

"Of course, why shouldn't I be? We're friends, Sara, always will be. Friends and colleagues." He looked like he believed it. I hoped he really did. That was how I wanted it to be.

I worked the rest of my shift. Mia would be waiting for me at her place. We would have four hours together before she had to start her shift. We would say hello, go get breakfast together at our diner then she'd come into work and I'd go and grab a few hours sleep.

I opened the door to her apartment and she came to greet me in the hall, holding me close for a long moment. "You smell good," I whispered, drinking in her scent. "Did you have a good sleep?"

"Pretty good," she said, snuggling into me. "Missed you though."

Mia was a snuggler. When we did managed to sleep together I usually woke to find her wrapped around me, her head pillowed on my chest, one leg and one arm slung over my body. I thought I would find it claustrophobic but I loved it. I never felt so safe before. I never felt so loved. And I never slept so well as I did when I was in her arms.

What did scare me was how used to it I was getting. I was getting used to not being on my own.

"So, did you talk to Grissom today?" she asked, almost playfully. She had asked me this every day for the last two weeks ever since I had confessed to her about how bad I felt for what I had said to Ecklie.

"Actually, yes I did," I said, pulling back a little and smiling at her. "And he was okay with it – with everything. Ecklie would have done what he had done regardless of what I or anyone else said. We talked a little about my counseling and stuff that's happened since and… the two of us." We were back in the bedroom by now. I kicked off my boots and sat on the edge of the bed.

"He seems okay with it. He certainly hasn't changed the way he treats me since we got together," Mia said. "In fact, I think it's made my relationship with the rest of your team better. It feels like I got adopted by several big brothers."

Big brothers. That figured. Warrick and Nick and Greg were the best. I trusted them to watch my back every day. And I trusted them with Mia as well. "What about Catherine Willows. Has she said anything?"

"No… nothing beyond work related stuff anyway. But she's still settling into the new structure as well. It's gotta be hard on her too. And…" Mia stopped, looked away for a second.

"Tell me, Mia. What did she say?" I knew Catherine Willows could be a class A bitch when she wanted to be. I had been on the receiving end of it often enough, especially in the early days.

"I think she has feelings for you, Sara. And I don't thing she realised how strong they were until she found out that we were a couple. And maybe she feels like she missed her chance with you."

"Feelings for me! That's…" My voice trailed away as I thought it through. There had been moments, I couldn't deny it. After Eddie was murdered, when I hadn't been able to put the case together for her she had spoken so harshly to me before realizing how badly I felt that we couldn't crack it. And then she had gone out of her way to tell me that she didn't attach any blame for what had happened to me or the team. It was just the way things worked sometimes.

That damned song…

"_Sit there and count the raindrops_

_Falling on you_

_It's time you knew_

_All you can ever count on_

_Are the raindrops_

_That fall on little girl blue_"

"I was never sure," I said softly. "I was never that certain exactly what I felt for her myself." I shook myself. "Anyway… that's all in the past now. I have you in my life, and I ain't looking anywhere else." I kissed her thoroughly, letting my hands travel across her slim hips and waist, down over her beautiful backside.

"Good to hear," Mia said softly. "I wouldn't want it any other way either. You're quite enough for me, Sara Sidle." She pulled me down onto the bed, opening my shirt and kissing her way down my front, her hands palming my breasts, fingers gently rolling and squeezing my nipples through the material of my bra. It was exquisite torture.

I reached for her nightshirt, pulled it up to reveal her naked body. Mia was so beautiful, her dark skin smooth as satin, soft. She sat up a little, pulling her nightshirt over her head and flinging it in the general direction of the hamper. I let my hands glide over her taut belly, her ribs, her beautiful breasts, up to the column of her throat, cupping one hand around the back of her neck to pull her down to me again. She rolled us so she was on the bottom and I was straddling her. I took the opportunity to take of my shirt, copying her action by tossing it towards the hamper. I reached round behind me to unclasp my bra, pulled it off and lost it as well. Her fingers were rubbing at me through my jeans, pressing the seam into my clit. I pressed down on her fingers feeling that sweet wet friction begin. No one had ever been able to get me as wet as she did. I undid the fly on my jeans, slipped my hand inside as she raised herself up and began kissing down my bare stomach, gently biting and nibbling at my flesh.

"So beautiful," she whispered. "God, Sara, you're so beautiful. You taste so good." We shifted position again so that I could lose my jeans and socks and then with both of us naked we curled around each other touching and kissing, biting and licking. We were still learning each other's bodies, the little signs and often almost subliminal signals that told you more, less, harder, softer, there. There. I was a quick study but she… she was phenomenal. I came first and hard, smothering my squeal of her name in the flesh of her shoulder, almost biting her. The force of my orgasm was enough to bring her over the edge as well, her breath hot against my cheek as she whispered my name over and over again. I rested against her for a moment, as she ran her fingers through my hair, gently bringing us both down. I heard her laugh softly.

"What?" I asked.

"You're a wild thing, Sara. I look at you when you're working in the lab, so serious, so quiet and it amazes me that these two sides of you that I see, that I love, can exist in the same person. You are amazing."

I know that I'm blushing. I can feel the heat rise in my skin. I've always felt awkward at compliments, never known quite how to take them, how to accept them. She knows that I'm embarrassed and smiles at me and almost shyly I smile back. "I love you Mia," I said. And stopped.

That was the first time I had ever said it to her. And I meant it. It wasn't just words. It was real. "I love you," I repeated softly. We were sitting facing each other now, almost in each others laps. She nuzzled my cheek, my lips. We kissed for a long time, then drew slightly apart, our foreheads resting against each other.

"I love you too," she whispered. "I love you too."

Little Girl Blue – Nina Simone (From the Album 'My baby just cares for me')

(music & Lyrics Richard Rodgers, Lorenz Hart)

Sit there and count your fingers

What can you do

Old girl you're through

Sit there, count your little fingers

Unhappy little girl blue.

Sit there and count the raindrops

Falling on you

It's time you knew

All you can ever count on

Are the raindrops

That fall on little girl blue

Won't you just sit there

Count the little raindrops

Falling on you

'Cause it's time you knew

All you can ever count on

Are the raindrops

That fall on little girl blue

No use old girl

You might as well surrender

'Cause your hopes are getting slender and slender

Why won't somebody send a tender blue boy

To cheer up little girl blue


	6. Death is just a name

CSI: DEATH IS JUST A NAME

Author: Celievamp

Set during the Season 5 Episode: Nesting Dolls. Soundtrack: Nina Simone "The Desperate Ones" (from the Album "And Piano" by Nina Simone. Words and music by Jacques Brel, Jouannest, Eric Blau, Mort Shuman

Pairing: Sara Sidle / Mia DickersonDEATH IS JUST A NAME

Warrick came out of the CSI building just in time to see Sara and Mia exit from Sara's car. Sara went to the back of her car to get something from her kit and Mia followed her, playfully putting her arms around the smaller woman and kissing the back of her neck. Warrick smiled at the almost shy blush he could see steal across Sara's cheeks, the sweet slow smile that teased her lips even as she frowned. He read her lips easily. "_Mia! Someone might see us!_"

Mia looked directly at him for a moment. "_Let them_," she said, leaning to kiss her lover again. Sara half turned to meet her lips, her hand stealing up to brush through Mia's thick dark hair.

They kissed again and now Warrick turned away, suddenly feeling too much the voyeur. It was good to see Sara in a healthy relationship. He had a lot of time for Mia as well. Since his off-the-cuff comment about the music of Nina Simone he had heard her distinctive voice and music several times emanating from the DNA lab. The girl definitely had taste.

He caught up with them again later in the morning outside the locker room. Developments to the case they were working on meant that, largely thanks to Sara's hard work and expertise, they had a face to their Jane Doe, if not yet a name. With a soft touch to her arm, Mia left her lover to go to her domain, the DNA lab where the latest samples from the mysterious mass grave awaited her attention.

"So how long have you been carpooling with Mia?" Warrick asked.

"It's convenient for us to come in together when our shift patterns match," Sara said. "And when they don't we try to meet for breakfast. It's… nice, civilised, you know."

Nick came up in time to hear the last part of their conversation. "What's civilised?" he asked.

"Sara and Mia meet to eat breakfast most mornings," Warrick said. "So do you eat at your place… her place?" He raised an eyebrow, challenging her.

"Mostly we eat at a little diner just off Maitland. They do a great range of vegetarian and organic foods," Sara said.

"I thought Mia didn't eat out… germs," Nick frowned.

"She does when she's with me," Sara smiled.

"Maybe the company's the key," Warrick murmured.

"You did a great job on that mould by the way," Nick said. "The face should be good enough to get an ID."

"Hope so. Fingerprints are out and we're still waiting on the DNA," Warrick said. "Mia's still running it but all the samples were pretty degraded."

"I'm heading out to look at ER records. Someone wired her jaw back together," Sara said. "Hopefully there'll be a photo in the records I can match to our face."

"Not a job I fancy," Warrick grimaced. "Good luck with that."

She flashed him a quick smile but it didn't reach her eyes. This was really bothering her. More than usual even for this type of case.

Work with someone long enough and you usually find out what makes them tick, what drives them, inspires them, terrifies them. In Sara's case it was the same answer for all – cases involving women abused or murdered by their partners, cases involving injury to children by a parent or other family member. He remembered her words. _"Ten to one, it's domestic abuse. Beat up, then shut up."_ Always conscientious and hard working on these cases she would drive herself well beyond tolerance levels. Usually she had to be ordered to go home, to eat, to sleep. None of them knew why. Something in her past that she never talked about. Warrick could feel it in his bones that it was going to be the same this time. He caught the same look on Nick's face as they watched Sara walk away down the corridor, then glanced across the way towards the DNA lab. Just maybe they had an ace up their sleeve this time in safeguarding their friend from her demons.

"Do you think Sara's told her anything?" Nick asked softly.

"We'll never know from either of them if they've come to care for each other as much as I think they have," Warrick said. "But a heads-up that Sara's gonna be hurting wouldn't come amiss." Nick nodded. Warrick headed towards the lab.

"Mia… Sara's gone to check medical records, see if she can't put a name to the face she reconstructed," Warrick said. "It could be a long job…"

Mia froze, just for a moment and he could see it in her eyes. She knew. She knew what haunted Sara Sidle. She knew what drove her. Five years of working together and she had told him less than nothing about herself, her past. Five months with this woman and Sara had told her her deepest darkest secrets. This must be the real deal. Warrick only hoped that Mia understood just how privileged she was.

"My shift finishes at three, but there's enough to do to warrant a little overtime. I'll stay around until she gets back," Mia said. "Make sure she's okay."

"Good idea," Warrick said. Hopefully Sara would see Mia first when she got back and get a chance to decompress a little rather than someone like Ecklie or (he hated to admit it) Catherine. If he saw her he would certainly do his best to steer her in the DNA lab's direction. "If you guys want to go out for a drink later…"

"You'll have to take a raincheck for tonight I think, but we'll take you up on that sometime soon, I promise." Mia's solemn face brightened with a smile. "Thank you, Warrick."

He knew that it was for more than the offer of a drink. And he couldn't help but feel that Sara Sidle was a damn lucky woman.

END

Desperate Ones (from the Album "And Piano" by Nina Simone. Words and music by Jacques Brel, Jouannest, Eric Blau, Mort Shuman

They hold each others hands

They walk without a sound

Down forgotten streets

Their shadows kiss the ground

Their footsteps

sing a song

That's ended before it's begun

They walk without a sound

The desperate ones

Just like the tiptoe moth

That dance before the flame

They burn their hearts so much

That death is just a name

And if love calls again

So foolishly they run, they run, they run

They run, they run, they run, they run

They run without a sound

The desperate ones

I know the road they're on

I've walked their crooked mile

A hundred times or more

I drank their cup of bile

They watch their dreams go down

Behind the setting sun

Yeh, yeh, yeh, they walk without a sound

The desperate ones

Let he who threw the stone at them

Stand up and take a bow

He knows the verb "to love"

But he'll never, never, never know how

On the bridge of nevermore

They disappear one by one

Disappear without a sound

The desperate ones

And underneath the bridge

The water's sweet and deep

This is their journey's end

The land of endless sleep

They cry to us for help

We think it's all in fun,

They cry, they cry, they cry, they cry

Without a sound

They disappear without a sound

They walk without a sound without a sound

Disappear without a sound

Cry without a sound

Yai, yaj, yaj, yaj, yaj, yaj, yaj

The desperate ones


End file.
